PS I Hate You
by acromatic princess
Summary: Four girls at Konoha School for Girls and four boys at Konoha School for Boys have to write letters to each other as a school assignment. Unfortunately, none of them get along. At all. Could this mean war? SasuSaku, NejiTen, ShikaIno, NaruHina AU. R&R.


Title: P.S. I Hate You (Ok, I wasn't trying to copy P.S. I Love You or anything; I just was trying to think of a good name for the story, and this one worked. So yeah.)

Full Summary: Four girls (Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata) at the Konoha School for Girls have to write to four guys (Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji, and Naruto) at the Konoha School for Boys for a sort of pen pal program that both of their schools are doing. Of course, considering how different these particular letter writers and their recipients are, things start to get a little heated. And soon, it could be a full-out war between the two groups. Boys vs. Girls. (Sorry I'm not very good at summaries, by the way.)

Author: sakura725 (I think I want to change it, because it's so boring. But I can't think of a good name. Hmm...)

Category: Humor and Romance. Yeah.

Rating: T because of swearing and sexual humor. And...I can't think of any other reasons.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. But I _really_ wish I could own Sasuke.

Setting: Present world. Meaning the world we live in. In high school, like me. Because I am officially in high school now. I passed under the bridges and everything.

Couples: SasuSaku, NaruHina, ShikaIno, NejiTen, and whatever other couples I put in.

POV: The story is told through letters.

Inspiration: How I think of all my stories, I guess. Daydreaming. But this particular one was also inspired by the book The Year of Secret Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty. Very good book. To me at least.

Other Stuff: Let's see...I've got nothing else interesting to say. Except for, I guess, if you have a certain kind of story that you would like me to write, I could probably try to do it. No promises, of course. But you can just make any suggestions in your reviews. Oh, that reminds me, please review!

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Dear Boys at the Konoha School for Boys,

Oh-em-gee! Writing letters is going to be so much fun! I can't believe the school administration thought of this amazing idea to get us to interact with the opposite sex!

That was all sarcasm, by the way. I mean, if you couldn't tell (you're not stupid, right? Oh please tell me you aren't). Do they really think that just because we go to an all-girls school we never interact with guys? Well, I know for a fact that my friend Ino _interacts_ with a different one every week. If you catch my drift.

So really this is just another way for the girls at our school (well, not all of them. Just the more…slutty ones) to meet new guys and _interact_ with them. You'd think that the administration would be smart enough to see this. But then again, they aren't the brightest people. Except for maybe the principal, Tsunade. She was the only one who even had a clue who the person who graffitied the gym walls was (actually it was people…not that I would know). Too bad she didn't have any proof. Ha!

Of course, I don't really care. I mean, it's not like it was _me _(or Ino, Tenten, and Hinata or any of my other partners in cri-I mean friends).

Well, I think that's enough secrets shared to a total stranger for one letter (not that any secrets were exposed or anything), so I'm gonna go.

From,

Secretly a Secret Agent (aka Sakura Haruno)

* * *

Dear Piece of Man-Meat at Konoha School for Boys,

How are you doing? I'm doing pretty good, thank you very much.

Okay, now that the formalities are over, let's get on to the good stuff.

Do you want to have sex with me? Ow! Hinata, why did you just hit me?

…

Oh, apparently it's very inappropriate to ask something like that. Especially to someone I don't even know.

Why, Hinata! Of course I know him! He's the…guy from Konoha School for Boys! Now can I have sex with him? Ow!

Sorry about that. Apparently I have major problems. The biggest one of them being that I'm a whore.

See, now you know something about me. Aw, I feel as if we're close already.

Can you send me a picture of you or something? That way I can make sure you're hot-Ow! Hinata, stop hitting me! Don't read over my shoulder if you don't like what I'm saying! Besides, shouldn't you be writing to your own pen pal person?

Anyways, I hope that our teachers aren't gonna read these letters or anything. That would be bad. Especially because I was going to ask you if you could send me some drugs.

H-hey, Hinata, stop giving me that look. I was just kidding. Totally a joke. You know I would never do anything like that.

…

Quick! She's not looking! Send it to me, send it!

Ahem. Sorry, I really was just kidding. I do sex, not drugs. It's a code of honor I live by.

Well, it was nice talking to you. It probably won't be nice for _you_, though, because I was just reading this over, and I realized how much it could freak out a person who had never met me.

…It would freak just about anyone out, actually. Except for Sakura, of course, because she's crazy. Her letter's probably just as weird as mine is, without the sex. Tenten also falls into the special category, so she would probably be okay with it too. Hinata, though…she's the most normal one out of all of us, so I think she would get pretty creeped out.

Hm, I think I've said enough for one day. So, bye!

Yours Forever and Ever,

Ino Yamanaka

P.S. Can you please not show this to any authority figures? Because I'm already in enough trouble as it is, and I think I'd probably be expelled if anyone showed this to my school.

* * *

Dear Person at the School Next to Ours,

_I was gonna clean my room until I got high. I was gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got high. My room is still messed up and I know why. Cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high._

_I was gonna go to class before I got high. I coulda cheated and I coulda passed, but I got high. I am taking it next semester and I know why. Cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high._

Isn't that a cool song? Story of my life right there. Just kidding. I've never gotten high, though I kinda wish I could. I heard it feels pretty good.

You're probably wondering why I put song lyrics in this letter for no other apparent reason than to make stupid comments on it.

Or actually, you probably don't care, but I'm gonna tell you anyway.

You see, I was just sleeping in the back of the classroom, listening to my ipod, like I always do, until I was interrupted by the sound of my teacher's voice (I've decided to make this into a poetic story, because, really, I have nothing better to do).

Normally, something as trivial as this wouldn't rouse me from my deep, dreamless sleep, but she seemed to be speaking quite loudly and with much animation, so I decided to humor her.

As I listened to her endless droning, I realized that what she was saying was in relation to our brother school, Konoha School for Boys. Considering that this seemed to be an interesting subject, I paid more attention than I had before.

According to her speech, it seemed that the two school's administration had conferred and decided that the students in each school didn't get enough diversity. Basically meaning that they thought we don't talk to the opposite sex enough. So to fix this problem, the administration of both schools decided to have the girl's school write to the boy's school, and they write back, etc. In other words, a pen pal program.

Of course, I assume that you knew all of this already. But really I have nothing else to put, and this is just a waste of perfectly good sleep time. Because partying all night can make you tired. And you also seem like the kind of person who would enjoy a well-written story, because I'm sure that you are quite intelligent yourself.

I'm ignoring the fact that I've never met you and have never read any of your letters.

But you will write me back, so I'm sure everything will be cleared up after that.

Well, I'm pretty much finished now. Besides, my letter is already longer than anything else I've ever written anyways, so I think I need to reward myself with a nap.

Write you later alligator,

Tenten

* * *

Dear Student at Konoha School for Boys,

Hi! My name is Hinata, and I'm from the Konoha School for Girls.

Well, you probably knew what school I was from, but I decided to tell you anyways, because you might not have known. Even though it would be really weird if you didn't know, because your teacher should've told you about it and-

Sorry, I was rambling there. Sometimes I can't help myself, though. I just talk and talk and talk and my mouth can't seem to stop. Or I guess, in this case, my hand. I'm not sure if it's because I'm nervous or if I just don't know what to say, but I seem to stutter sometimes and when I'm not stuttering I tend to ramble on and on-

Kind of like I'm doing right now. Again, sorry. I really don't know what's wrong with me. Let me try a new approach here.

What's your name? Do you have any special interests or hobbies? I like to draw. What grade are you in? You're a sophomore, right? Because I am, and I think that they were going to give our letters to people in the same grade. Are you a boy or a girl? That was a stupid question; you're a boy, of course, considering that you _do_ go to an all-boy's school. But then again, you could be a girl in _disguise_ as a boy. Like Mizuki from Hana-Kimi. Hana-Kimi is one of my favorite manga. It's really good, because they fall in love but don't know that the other likes them and-

I'm doing that rambling thing again. I won't apologize this time, though, because my friends say that I apologize too much and that I should know that I don't have to apologize for every single little thing, because-

You know what? I think I'm just going to end the letter right now, before I embarrass myself any further.

Sincerely,

Hinata Hyuuga

P.S. I have to say one more thing, because my parents taught me to always be polite. I hope you have a good week, and I look forward to reading your letter. _Now_ I'm finished.

* * *

Yea! I finished! So, as I said before, please review. Because I like them so much. And if you have any suggestions about anything, you can tell me. I like constructive criticism and suggestions.


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